Martos Gallery - Oliver Sudden & Michael Portnoy - December 11, 2008

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MICHAEL PORTNOY
(Song about) A group of pigs are trained to stand on their hind legs, snouts in the air, around "Walter" laying on the floor of the gallery. He slithers on his back from one to the other, his nose redacted with Gorilla tape, sketching each from that perspective with a Sharpie. 2008
Pig snout, Gorilla Tape, Sharpie, mother-of-pearl
6 x 8 x 7 inches
© Photo Charles Moreau, 2008

(Song about) Prominent New Adult Contemporary (i.e., Smooth Jazz) artists are invited to a cocktail party on Park Avenue to "celebrate the art form". When they arrive, the doorman leads them to a washroom and tells them they must cleanse their nasal cavities with a neti pot as the hosts hate to hear the sound of obstructed nose breathing, and the idea that purulent material might be lurking so close to the eyes. They are then told to drink a strong brew of iced maté, as the hosts also hate to be around anyone "too jazzy", which the doorman explains to mean "airy" or "chill". Anyone who objects is kindly told to leave. Those that comply are led upstairs in a service elevator to a kitchen with platters of the finest foods and told to eat as the hosts hate to be around people eating as it distracts them from listening to people breathe. After a while, a well dressed 5-year-old girl enters the kitchen dragging a well dressed 5-year-old boy by the hair who clutches a soprano saxophone to his body like a security blanket. Whenever he tries to put it to his mouth, she yanks his hair harder and says, "pre-be, post-be, dis-be, mis-be, over-be, un-be!" The doorman whispers to the artists, "It's when you gallop that your parasites are most alive."
Capezio "character" jazz shoe, box for a neti pot, máte spoon, mother-of-pearl
© Photo Augustin de Valence

(Song about) A bar for 20 lonely ones. One must enter alone. An even number of ones (up to 20) is always maintained. Only Jameson is served. Arranged irregularly in the dark wood room are 10 pairs of chairs facing each other with a side table. A server brings drinks to the ones. On the center of each table is a clothespin on a vertical rod which clamps a conversation piece (a photo, short text, curio, etc.) chosen by a nightly Director of Behavior. The server changes the conversation piece with each round of drinks. There is no music but "prods" (groups of a few words meant to further enhance or modify the conversations) are announced sporadically over the speakers by the hidden Director. When a bell sounds, the ones must change seats.
Steig's The Lonely Ones, Jameson, clothespins, mother-of-pearl
© Photo Augustin de Valence

(Song about) 2 peelers are walking down the road. One peels the future and the other peels the past. The guy who peels the future has a 2 mile long erection and the other has a nasty cold. In between them the dotted lines on the road are upholstered in white leather and stuffed with powdered cinnamon. 5 years pass. The guy who peels the future still has an erection but he's on the ground, and the other has climbed up it and is crying into its eye through a funnel. Resolve the problem of return mechanically, not within thought. A mechanism must free you from it.
Cinnamon bark, packaging for a peeler, funnels, mother-of-pearl.
© Photo Augustin de Valence

(Song about) 4 art projects which do not involve an oil can, a rubber mold for a whatnot, and a mesh screen : 1) Marble yarmulkes (which appear as if they've been crocheted), 2)Sweating Menhirs: replicas of a selection of the smaller Carnac stones, made in palm oil impregnated ebony, 3) Steam Meanders : City funded workers in heavily padded yellow suits who meander through busy areas for the purpose of being punched and kicked by people with excess steam, 4) A dance – "La Pouillette" (pouilleux (flea-bitten) + poursuite (pursuit), + pirouette).
Oil can, mesh screen, rubber mold for a whatnot, mother-of-pearl, 2008
© Photo Augustin de Valence

(Song about) 5 multinational bankers are locked in the hull of a trawler on the border between Icelandic and British fishing waters. The invigilator sits on deck, chews cod hardfishkur and fennel seeds, and scratches the best phrases he hears from below on a wax tablet – "depression-like contraction", "broke the buck", "moral hazard", "irrational exuberance", "rolling series of panics", "super-bubble", etc. The wax is left to melt on the deck and seeps down the hull. Repeat with new tablets until no more words are heard.
Fennel Seeds, a banker's baseball cap, wax, mother-of-pearl, 2008
© Photo Augustin de Valence